Ambien Makes You Weird

I’ve recently started taking Ambien, and not so coincidentally, my nights have gotten a whole lot more interesting. 

I’ve always had issues with sleeping, or more specifically, not being able to sleep. My parents are the same way. They’re in their 60s and usually don’t fall asleep until well after 1am. If it were up to me, I’d completely switch my days and nights around, because it would just come naturally to me. I’m secretly a vampire.

I’m pretty damn near useless before noon, and I have a major burst of energy every evening from 6pm and on. This has proven to conflict with my work schedule. So, unlike my college years when I could schedule my classes around my sleep-related inclinations, I’ve got to actually get myself to sleep at night and up in the morning.

I tried every brand of over-the-counter sleep aids over the years (finding the most success with Unisom). When I encountered a particularly bad bout of insomnia earlier this year–it tends to come and go in waves–I went to my doctor and got a prescription. First for Trazodone, which didn’t work. And then for Lunesta, which my insurance company deemed unnecessary and refused to pay for.

Then came Ambien. My strange and wonderful friend, Ambien. It definitely works. From Wikipedia, here is a list of common side effects:

• Anterograde amnesia
• Hallucinations, through all physical senses, of varying intensity
• Delusions
• Altered thought patterns
• Ataxia or poor motor coordination, difficulty maintaining balance^[37]
• Euphoria and/or dysphoria
• Increased appetite
• Decreased libido
• Amnesia
• Impaired judgment and reasoning
• Uninhibited extroversion in social or interpersonal settings
• Increased impulsivity
• When stopped, rebound insomnia may occur
• Headaches, in some people  

Some of my favorites (from my own experience) are complete memory loss from the time the drug started working until I wake up; hallucinations; altered thought patterns; poor motor coordination; and increased impulsivity. I can tell you for sure that I do not experience decreased libido when taking Ambien. Just sayin’.

It starts working after about half an hour. I usually take it somehwere around 11pm, most commonly while we’re watching something on TV. At some point, after I’ve forgotton I’ve taken it, I’ll start to completely lose all comprehension skills regarding whatever we’re doing/watching. Suddenly everything is really, really confusing. Once the confusion is in full swing, I start having some good ideas, one of which always includes having sex with Jason AS SOON AS POSSIBLE, NO MATTER WHAT HE IS DOING. He doesn’t mind this so much. 

I think the idea is probably that most people fall asleep before any of the side effects hit. But my ability to stay awake is pretty tenancious.

Here’s a picture I don’t remember taking of myself after taking Ambien the other night.